Welcome from Jim Adams on

Plays, Novels and Film

    Life is a series of many sorrows and many happinesses. The sorrows are the breakages. But on looking back, if there had never been the prospect of any further sorrow, there
    could never have been the experience of new happiness. In my sorrows and in my happiness I am content.


    When did Brenda know?
    Drama-documentary on conversations in the Royal household before and after the assasination of Diana. Needs a lot of futher background research. An original idea was to
    have a soldier standing to attention silently throughout the piece, and only have him move forward once, to speak to Brenda.
    Conversation with Adolf Hitler
    Monologue between an actor on a chair on the left conversing with a portrait of Adolf Hitler on a chair on the right, questioning his lack of ambition and why he did not extend
    his plans further. The actor declares his intention to tear up the portrait of Hitler, put it in a waste paper basket and vacuum the carpet. As he is about to do so, the voice of Adolf
    Hitler tells him to stop, sit down and listen to him. The actor is none other than Adolf Hitler himself, and he did all this. He goes on to describe everything the actor did in his
    career as Adolf Hitler, including that given in the Fourth Reich section, the death of Martin Bormann who was to join him, the role of Ettore Majorana in the Nazi bomb
    programme and why it was necessary to eliminate the Jews as a consequence, the U-boat carrying uranium supplies to New York, the advanced defences of his remote ranch
    in Argentina, the success of some aspects of the Argentinan themonuclear programme, the weekly flights of Klaus Barbie from Argentina to CIA headquarters, the necessary
    elimination of Eva Peron, the US moon programme, how he and Eva had three sons and Eva ended up divorcing him, and how he enjoyed watching the moon landings on TV.
    The actor is quite disturbed and tears up the portrait of Adolf Hitler, puts it in the bin and continues to vacuum the carpet.


    The destitute capitalist
    A student, Jas, lives a charmed life in Cambridge. Moving north to own a cotton mill in Lancashire, he turns down an invitation from a Mr Marx in Manchester to expand
    his drapery business. The mill goes bankrupt, and Jas is wanders the streets asking for bread. Knocking at a door, a mill girl, seeing he has a posh accent, invites him in with
    'Ee, come in lad!' Their son works in the market at the age of nine selling safety pins. Jas devises increasingly bizzare schemes to make money and is sent to a lunatic asylum.
    His wife dies. Marx and Sieff becomes Marks and Spencer. At the funeral of his father, his son, unable to pay for the bus fare, is the only person there apart from the grave
    Escape from Utopia

    A perfect society has been built from the remains of a previous one. A man goes into a tourist information centre and asks how he can leave Utopia. He is told that nobody
    has done that before. Anyone leaving Utopia must forfeit eternal life. Continuing to insist, he is told it is possible to go on a distant trip to the Great Wall of Utopia, and it is
    possible to leave from there. Reaching the Great Wall, he walks to the exit point. In front of its huge unclimable ediface, he is confronted by armed guards telling him to stop,
    or he will be shot. He continues to walk towards the wall, and walks through it. It is a hologram. Walking along a pleasant country road, he has escaped.
    (SF) The future is known, the past is hidden
    In a society where the future can be predicted with certainty, C1 watches the results for the next election due in three months time. In the closest-run election ever, the
    Progressive Democratic Party will retain its majority which it has held for the past 1000 years. C1, C2 and C3 meet together because they notice they have the same death
    day. They discuss where they could go on holiday and the weather they will experience there. C2 decides to look at the archives of the Institute of History, and report back
    to the group. History is unknown before 2156, the date at which all data was erased and destroyed on the planet. Nevertheless, contempraneous accounts after 2156 discuss
    the Third Hypnotic War which preceded it. It is known that Bornuj Daxa and the hypnotic general Ein-Eins were in control. Daxa died in mysterious circumstances and his
    body was frozen, C2 is unable to find where. Unusually, there is no recorded death of Ein-Eins at all. C2 obtains restricted information that had been overlooked from the
    archives. All elections are rigged. C1, C2 and C3 discuss attacking the government headquarters of the Progressive Democratic Party. C3 sees in a news flash that three
    terrorists will attack the headquarters of the Progressive Democratic Party in three weeks time, and will be shot dead. This is their death date. To defy the prediction, C1,
    C2 and C3 decide without weapons to declare the rigging of the elections by the Progressive Democratic Party. Making a declaration from the steps of the building, they
    are approached by armed robots, who shoot them dead.


    We do not know by what process of evolution comedy for humans induces pleasure, and tragedy the experience of sorrow and pain. Whereas other sensations of pleasure
    and pain are physical, comedy and tragedy are cognitive. Comedy is when, say, someone puts down a banana skin and someone else, not knowing the banana skin is there,
    slips on it and hurts himself. Tragedy is when someone tells someone else that a banana skin is in the path, he knows, but he cannot change the route he is taking and must
    fall on it and be hurt. This then happens.

    (short) The Martian ambassador
    Film type: Comedy. Plot: Casually dressed and wishing to establish diplomatic relations, the Martian ambassador is not allowed to enter the British embassy in Dublin.
    (short) Jim Adams's Inefficient Exercise programme
    Film type: Training and comedy. Plot: The idea is that young people do tasks inefficiently which gives them more excercise, so to lose weight, we should put ourselves in
    an unplanned state of mind where we do physical things inefficiently, which is more interesting than repetitive exercise routines.
    (short) The slab of cheese
    Film type: Comedy. Plot: A man and his pregnant wife are going through a supermarket, but cannot pay for anything to eat. The man asks his wife to leave. He must do
    something, and he will provide for her. He goes to the supermarket cheese counter and purchases a very large cylindrical slab of cheese. He goes away and puts it down his
    track suit. He then walks to the supermarket exit with his trolley, where he has nothing to pay. He is stopped by the supermarket security man, who asks what the large bulge is.
    After some conversation, he says 'It is not a slab of cheese'. The supermarket security man confronts him with the fact that he has nowhere indicated that it is a slab of cheese,
    and therefore on what grounds should he assume that the person he is challenging should have come up with the idea, other than that he had a slab of cheese in his track suit?
    The man assures him that he had been thinking of a work of Socrates on slabs of cheese. The supermarket security man counters that Socrates never wrote such a work. The
    man reassures him that he did, and has a copy of it, which he presents to him. In shock, the supermarket security man sits down, to read the book: Socrates: Contemplations on
    a Slab of Cheese. He realises it is a fake, and it is Machievelli's The Prince with a false cover. He has been duped. Looking up, he realises the the man who had stolen the cheese
    is no longer there. Shouting for him to come back, he chases after him and disappears.
    My polkadot T-shirt
    Film type: Political documentary hidden as a parable. It could begin if, for instance, director Kevin Furber shows interest.
    The discovery of happiness, I, II and III
    Film type: Straight and gay porn, parody of porn and political satire. A comedy experiment taking porn seriously, as it should be. I think it would work, but the political
    structure isn't there to finance it. Needs extensive further research into porn. This could be an interesting task to delegate to someone else! Fails to meet righteous expectations
    about exposure on public thoroughfares, anal intercourse and group sex. Porn is a pleasurable experience. It satisfies the need of releasing us from the thought control of the
    society which surrounds us, and indulging in the voyeurism of sexual experience which goes beyond the boundries of our inhibitions. Like reading a newspaper, it is
    representation and not fact. Whilst maintaining its integrity as porn, a slightly new idea might be that it is combined with the expression of social and political comment, and
    comedy. This interests me. The film is superficial and non-analytical. A good suggestion for anyone trying to write comedy is to study Aristophanes. All subsequent comedy
    is toned down and less funny because of that. Heavy grunting does not do all it should for me. I think it can partly be edited out. A fucking sound could be the sound of a
    squishy piston combined with a bit of the play doh material that produces a farting sound. This is unnatural, but if not too loud probably quite funny.
    Plot: Theresa May's government's plans to nationalise reproduction fail disastrously. In filming scenes, Virgin Porn director Clark (a look-alike of Clark Gable) explains
    his intentions. Are his attempts to flirt with biology student Lois doomed to failure, or will he find the right man?
    Locations: Brighton, Glasgow, train from Glasgow to Manchester, train from Manchester to Pontypridd, London, Athens and Edinburgh.
    The Soviet Gang-Bang Competition
    Film type: Porn, instruction manual and political satire. We must be led to believe this is not a rejection of Russia as it is today, but in an attenuated form an inspection of it,
    even within ourselves. Once again, there is a problem with finance, particularly since the gay population is about 12%. This might be enhanced by it being an instruction
    manual. Since it is serious political comment (which often makes bad comedy) it might have a market for that reason alone. New ventures take a long while to accept, so this
    film is in difficulties this way too. I would accept any offer of an American company to film this, provided its board of directors were assasinated. It is a reflection on revolution,
    propaganda and the social systems that go with it. The film includes discussions of Russian history, its political system and Russian Orthodox doctrine. Russians may object
    that I was external to the Soviet system, and I am ignorant of Russian history, culture, society and its political system so that Russians would regard that I have no right to
    comment. Russian society is of interest to us all. I am expressing my opinion in that context. A deformity is its centralisation. Specifically libertarian in the October Revolution,
    I estimate the trend today is in the reverse. Wishing to release the human spirit in ways that authoritarians find objectionable, I state my case. I do not wish expressions of gay
    sex to be interpreted as an allegory of hate. Ignorant as I am of Russian literature, this love might be underlined by quotes which relate to classic Russian encounters. I wish to
    introduce the subversive idea that we may love Vadim Putin in ways as an authoritarian he would not wish me to express. Plot: In a competion like the Eurovision Song Contest,
    Vadim Putin is fucked by the leaders of the Soviet Union from Lenin to Yeltsin. In a peliminary interview on a relaxed arm chair, Putin is asked whether he feels nervous. He
    is asked what he thinks of Joseph Stalin, who is a bit of an anaconda. The sequence is decided by selecting balls like the National Lottery. A breezy female presenter introduces
    each fuck, where the competitors describe what they want Putin to do. Afterwards she interviews patriarchs of the Russian Orthodox Church about what they think of the
    performances. Occasionally there are action replays. Finally the presenter invites the viewers to vote. Joseph Stalin wins, and Putin does a final repeat with the winner. The
    film closes with a large crowd in a vast auditorium cheering.
    The day
    Film type: Serious.
    I need to work out whether female porn is Wuthering Heights and Lady Chattersley's Lover. It is probably about intimacy, and all good porn should be about this.
    A lesbian couple, F1 a Lebanese christian and F2 a Jewish progressive are shown in natural surroundings in a relationship that works. The film starts with F1 naked
    and dressing to the music of Mozart. They have a dog Skippy, converse with a neighbour and take it for a walk.
    Necrophilia tonight
    Film type: Comedy horror.
    The God of Football
    Film type: Serious, then satire.
    Plot: The first one third of the film is a natural account of lads playing football. One goes to football management school, where he is taught about transfer fees.
    The comedy appears half way through. In a class, a football is described as a square object with rollers underneath. A conference in Singapore discusses 'What
    is a football?'. A Saudi prince buys up all the world's football stadiums, and is advised by an accountant to turn them into car parks. A man and his son enter the
    world's first football car park, buying a football T-shirt and a football - a square object with rollers underneath.
    The component
    Film type: Comedy then tragedy.
    Plot: The component moves from one society to another, where he becomes an invalid object. Driven insane, he runs out screaming into the street and is knocked
    over by a bus.
    The shawl
    Film type: Serious.
    Plot: An exploration of the family life and customs of a Reform Jewish family through three generations. In each of the three stages a grandmother dies and leaves
    a shawl to her daughter. The daughter repairs the shawl. Finally the shawl contains no material of the original shawl, but is still the same shawl.
    Film type: Documentary. U is an asylum seeker. An early document about him is in the Politics and Human Rights section.
    Plot: I want to show him in his own words and his life story, both as himself and interspersed with this story from his friends. I want the audience to know what it is to
    be a devout Muslim, the persecution that asylum seekers face, the fortitude and calm that Islam gives to someone persecuted because of this, the reactions and support
    in love of the community around him, both Muslim and non Muslim, and his occasional triumphs after much struggle against the system that is confining him despite
    the attempts to drive him into destitution.
    The volcano
    Film type: Tragedy.
    Plot: At the end of one of his plays, Euripides is proclaimed by others, and knows himself, that he is the greatest tragedean of all time. Facing his own death, he declares
    himself a god, and despite the urgings of others, he ascends a volcano to defy God himself, to his certain and horrible death.
    Microsoft hits back
    Film type: Deliberately not sure.
    The Return of Microsoft
    Film type: Deliberately can't be certain.