Communism repeats itself, but I come up with a different and revolutionary conclusion of its future development from Marx.
Toasters Rule The World.
Idiocy is strength, I love it.
It is stupidity to say I do not know what I am doing.
My intelligence knows it is not the case and my theory confirms it.
Love wins even in absent logic.
It is obvious even in absent.
I say so.
The Resurection is Death becomes Life.
I still love Love. I now love all Hate.
Love loves Love forever.
Forthcoming: The Ascent of Music. Expressiveness in the Context of Musical History
Explanation of subsequent works, why and how they were produced and how they can be understood.
1. Professor Peabody's Automatic Underwear Device. text This early text could be performed.
2. Smiley Man's Christmas Banana Party.
Prunes and bananas and custard and cherries
And holly and custard, deep prune-filled tomatoes
We love you in custard and feel deep bananas
Caressing your custard, your prunes and tomatoes.
We love you with peas and deep marmite and custard
We love your deep prune-filled unmarmited custard
We love all your holly and mistletoe roundings
Our feet shuffle sideways and rumble with porridge
Our porridge and mistletoe custard surrounds us
Deep in bananas and custard-topped holly.
We love you, you smiley surrounded in custard
Your smiley teeth grinning with prunes and bananas.
We love you in custard, and deep in our smearings
We love you, we love you, we love you bananas!
Oh happy the prune-depth, the smearings of marmite
Oh happy the custard and peas that surround us.
Our wailngs of joy and our happiness grinning
For Christmas is coming, and coming is prune-cake.
3. Disconnect 1 This is intended to introduce the first of four new musical styles. This is Earth Lunatic. The others will be Martian Dielectric Materialism, Martian Underpant and
Martian Snot. The opera electronica Inferno above is mainly Martian Snot, although it contains allusion to Underpant. Sick is both Martian Dielectric and Martian Snot.
4. Yes this is totally bizzarre, and so am I. It needs subverting by some obvious but nondislocated normality. I had not even thought of this when I wrote it.
The Armenian Genocide. Overall the music is jolly and quite normal apart from car door slams. It may express poignancy and depth, and ascends occasionally into rapture, or the
expression of musicality which is compelling, uplifting, including door slams, and dramatic. We think dance is about rhythm, and the music is designed with this as the central idea. It also
contains gunshot sounds, including machine gun fire, with accompanying films, including sheep being killed in an abattoir, people eating a non vegetarian breakfast, seals being killed, fish
catches being hauled out and whales being killed. The ballet has five Adolf Hitlers, who should be of vey similar height and build and be as realistically dressed as possible. Beneath their
costumes they have red underpants where at the back there is a white circle for each buttock each inscribed with a black swastika. They express themselves formally to great effect, although
there may be variations with dramatic intent. There are seven female Wehrmacht officers with machine guns. They are wearing bright red lipstick. Beneath their waists they are wearing
classical ballet attire. They should be classically trained and be able to express classical movements with precision. There are three Greek policemen (who wear white). They are acrobats
and should be able to leap into the air, perform somersaults and run about. The Pope - a tap dancer, is accurately dressed and has a crook, which he uses in his tap dancing routine. His
uniform terminates above the knee. He has black tap dancing shoes and black socks which go three quarters of the way up to the knee. Each sock has three white crucifixes down one side.
There are five Muslim women wearing burkas, each pushing round an empty supermarket shopping trolley. They have white gloves so that no part of their anatomy is visible and they are
dressed from head to toe in black. They move their trolleys around slowly with very limited variability. There are a number of concentration camp inmates wearing pajamas who pass
around supermarket quorn, tofu and other non-meat vegetarian dishes to the audience. The amazing athlectic dynamism of the Greek policemen is contrasted with the restricted movements
of the women in burkas slowly pushing around shopping trolleys.
There is a scene where the five Adolf Hitlers stiffly dance around in a circle (with door slams) to Prokofiev's Dance of the Knights, accompanied by the Greek policemen in wild leaps and
the Muslim women in burkhas slowly moving with shopping trolleys, finally exposing their Nazi underwear at the conclusion of the piece.
5. The cock that expanded to the Great Wall and filled the cunt of the Great Void. This work is an exposition of Martian Dielectric Materialism and Martian Underpant. It contains
no Snot. It begins quietly with an exposition of vertex operator algebras to a backdrop of films of sexual processes in living things on Earth. Males and females with pink cylindrical bands
saying GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL and STRAIGHT (presumably mainly STRAIGHT) undress in front of the audience and proceed to mingle with them, stroke and caress them. They
withdraw to a simultaneous detailed exposition of the Kerr solution in general relativity and an account given by Dirac on quantum electrodynamics. They are in a hall where the sprinkler
system is in operation and it is lightly turned on, and after 12 seconds, off. Members of the audience are invited to the stage to play football. Simultaneously there is an announcement that
the hall may be escaped by a tunnel. The audience who try to escape are stroked on their bottoms and attempts are made to unbutton and unzip parts of their clothing. If there are not enough
members from the audience to play football, they are lovingly escorted by members of the pink team to the stage and told to strip off below their waists. Irrespective of whether this is done
or not, the game of football commences. Meanwhile there is a film of the exploration of the outer planes and their moons. The audience is subject to three bursts of the sprinkler system of
great coldness and increasing length. The game of football finishes with a short whistle burst, and the non pink players are told to put on their clothes, whilst a film of the galaxy and star
systems then appears in the background. A pink person selects a fake person from the audience and they go to an on-stage cubicle. The film sequence describing the physical characteristics
of the Great Wall and the Great Void begins. The auditorium dims and reveals that in the interior of the cubical the pair are having sex. The fire alarm goes off and someone suggests the
lights of the auditorium go on, and the audience proceeds out of the auditorium via the tunnel. The sprinkler system goes on with warm pleasant water which increases in pressure. The film
continues with a visual description of the Great Wall and the Great Void. The piece finishes when the audience has evacuated the hall.
There should be aftercare for this work. People should be warned in advance, and storage for basic items which might be damaged should be provided. Care should be as good as can be
afforded. People should be given returnable towels so they can dry themselves down. They should be given something sufficient to wear, they should not expect to be cold and certainly
not be expected to die to death of cold on the way home. They should be given a bag to put their wet clothes in.
6. Three Unimportant Impossiblity Conferences and the Declaration from a Small Urinal in Blackburn of the Correct Solution. This opera is to be stored in some medium or
storage device accompanied by a message to be displayed on its opening. This message shall say the same thing in four lanuages. The first shall be in cuneiform script, the second shall be
in the language English, the third shall be in modern Arabic and the fourth shall be in Esperanto. The message will read: This Opera shall not be played until after the Earth year AD 2049.
A Comic Islamic Opera. I think the music will combine Mozart with Arabic music. It is a totally enormous problem to located it in the few cultures which it claims without disintigrating
into total cultural unintelligibility. This will be difficult, but is possible in an integrated way to support the dialogues without intrusion. The music will contain a pulsation which might be
like a heartbeat. The music will all be electronic, and entirely tonal and will sometimes express calm or on occasion contrast electronic woodwind like a flute against a pleasant rhythic
harp or string-like background. It will include elements of Arabic music totally integrated with music similar in many contexts to Chinese musical repertoire. There is a very nice Mozart
subversion at the end. Actors: Three Female Lavatory Attendants:, Professor Twerp, Professorette Twirble-Twirrup, Bogdan Fart-Johnston-Smith who lectures in Advanced Farting at
the University of Cambridge, Sludgmena Lavatrova at the Institute of Lavatory and Ball and Chain Studies of the University of Moscow, various Daleks, The Grand Mufti of Jerusalem,
The Pope and Aleister Crowley of the Satanic Church (who is Jewish). There are three images, the first of which is the planet Earth on the left and the model A1FI on the right, which is
a model of the temperature of the Earth, I think in 2100. This is then replaced by a picture of the Andromeda Galaxy. The third film image is an alternation which is not a flicker between
a pure white screen and a pure black one. It ends in white.
Introduction. The Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, an old man as if in the last stages of his life and speaking in a louder voice than normal in a wheelchair conducted about whilst shaking from
some unknown condition, The Pope and Aleister Crowley (who is Jewish), a man with a black hat with a white band round it, combat trousers with a black gun on his person and a combat
jacket with a single red rose pinned to it, are together in a line on the left. The music becomes an electronic pulsation which is mainly tonal, it is accompanied by the choir. The three
religious figures declaim 'After the End there is the Beginning. We have not yet begun. There are three tasks, each more impossible that the one before. We must succeed in all of them.
This is the mission of the human race, and what succeeds them'.
Act 1. International Lavatory Attendant Conference, Blackburn. First section. In a very elegant setting, Aleister Crowley (who is Jewish) moves to the right. The image of the Earth and an
image A1FI appear together. He says 'The first task is the Catastrophe of the murder of our planet and the living things that are in it. It is the duty of all of us to prevent Climate Catastrophe
by the application of love. This is the first impossible task. We must do this together and start it now.
Second section. Professor Twerp from the podium explains that the International Lavatory Attendant Conference had begun, and introduces the speakers. Our first Lavatory Attendant is
Ludmilla Sludge, who is a Lavatory Attendant in Blackburn, indeed in this very building. The second Lavatory Attendant is Sabrina Owusu Zulu, who was Senior Lavatory Attendant at
FK Kijivo in Belgrade. Our third Lavatory Attendant is Weepad and is amongst other things a Visiting Lavatory Attendant at Healing Touch, Far East Plazza in Singapore. Additionally
another item has been added in. Due to temporary and unexpected withdrawal of finance from Saudi Arabia, The International Conference on Climate Catastrophe at the UN in New York
has had to be cancelled, and this Conference has asked whether our own could help and part of it be relocated here. Whereas our own Conference must continue, after due consideration
we have concluded that Climate Catastrophe is an important issue, and can even be considered as of relevance to the condition of Lavatory Attendants, although an unusual one, and that
therefore we should accept this request, even I might say with gratitude because of its importance. The Conference will continue with an account from our Three Lavatory Attendants of
their experiences and difficulties, including in Blackburn, and we will then continue with an account from Aleister Crowley of the Satanic Church (who is Jewish) on the situation on Climate
Catastrophe and how we might deal with it. I would ask all Participnts to be as brief as they can. A new item has been fitted in, so I would ask you as much as is possible to limit your
questions. Although it seems likely we will overrun, we need to retire for lunch. The catering arrangment have been pushed back because of this emergency, and I greatly thank the catering
staff for their assistance, in particular for the resolute action of the Catering Manager in bringing this about. Although we expect to overrun, I will ensure this is kept to a strict timetable so
that we can indeed have lunch at all.
Act 2. Dalek Control Centre, Andromeda. The Pope moves centre stage. The picture now contains a large image of the Andromeda Galaxy. The choir is augmented by a choir in a lower
range. The pope says 'The second impossible task is even more impossible that the first, and of far greater importance, yet it will not be the greatest impossibility we face. We can and will
succeed. To some it may seem impossible that we think of it. It concerns not only ourselves as the human race and what succeeds it. It includes all living things in two galaxies, one of
which is our own. We know what the problem is. We think there might be a solution. It involves technologies we cannot yet comprehend. We give an indication of what the solution is, but
we do not know. Two galaxies, the Milky Way Galaxy which is our own, which contans million and millions of stars some of which contain planets, and it would be incomprehensible
to think a very very large number of these Solar Systems do not contain life, will collide in about four billion years with the Andromeda Galaxy which is a distant Galaxy larger than our
own. The success of the second task is contingent on completion of the first. We must succeed because we must. We do not comprehend in full detail the outcome of this collision. At least
we must find out what we can about it. It means a possibility is that a very very large number of planets, some like our own, will perish in this collision. We must find a solution to this
impossible problem, using the technologies of our two galaxies if we can find it, and perhaps evacuate these living systems elsewhere, perhaps to other galaxies nearby. This is the second
impossible task. Humanity and its successors, which may well include ourselves, must and will succeed. This is the second task bequeathed to you'.
Act 3. Earth-Heaven Interchange Link, God-Knows-Where. First section. All of the actors kneel down except the religious figures who stand. The Grand Mufti of Jerusalem stays where
he is. The screen begins to modulate between pure white and blackness. He continues 'The third impossible task is almost impossible to state. It is almost as if we have no means to state it.
It is far more important than the other two. Beyond what we can communicate with light, called the Event Horizon and is finite, lies an infinity of other systems like our own universe.'
A third element to the choirs is added above. It might be like a call to prayer in a Mosque. 'If we succeed in this, we are in our systems of thinking are like the snail that loves God. Yet in
this littleness of ourselves we have the possibility to grow, and eventually evolve into something we are unable to comprehend. These entities will be like ourselves, in a sense human in
comparsion with the snail as ourselves. Yet if the snail did not exist, nor would the humans that followed. Beyond ouselves within the Event Horizon in the infinity of other universes like
our own, we do not know what the outcome will be. If universal physics can be changed, what will the Outcome be? Will it correspond to the Grand Ethical Principle in which the system
evolves to eternal stability and all existence is maintained, or will the Outcome be Total Darkness, in which all existence is extinguished, perhaps in a sense never existed? We do not know.
It is your task, little snails who love God or Allah himself, or what follows, even perhaps as you think in the infinity of time.' The other two religious figures bow down. 'to detemine the
outcome of this question. This is the third impossible task and is much greater than the other two. Those that wish may pray in the manner of the Mosque. Those that do not are absolved.
It is totally acceptable if you do not believe in God or Allah or anything like, or wish to establish your opposition to this idea to stand or as you please. Say as you wish but we say it thus:
Allah Akbar'. The section will conclude with the prayer above, which will end with a fade.
Second section. All actors are now wearing wires coming out of their foreheads with bobbles on the end, including the Dalek, to indicate this is an advanced civilisation. Pre-conference
chat, where it is discovered that Aleistair Cowley of the Satanic Church is Jewish. As they leave to enter the Conference proper, the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem says this is an important
religious occasion, and Aleistair must wear a cuppala, which he accepts.
Third section. The God Conference. Professor Twerp in the middle, The Pope, The Grand Mufti of Jerusalem and Aleister of the Satanic church (who is Jewish) are at the front, with
Professorette Twirble-Twirrup vigourously on the side taking notes on her laptop. Various delegates, including Daleks are in the audience. Introducing the Conference, Professor Twerp
explains its aim: To save God from Eternal Damnation.
Lecture from the First Lavatory Assistant, and a detailed discussion following from a question by Bogdan Fart-Johnston-Smith. Intuition, its mathematical development from systems of
reasoning, weird logic or hyperintuition, and its relation to the theory of games.
Lecture from the Second Lavatory Assistant. More detailed aspects of the theory of embedding of nested ethical, control and murder systems within binary games, the proof of the
Reduction theorem that multigames are equivalent to wider games using polynomial wheel theory in reason, general discussion of the Wonderful Theorem, evolution in games to Truth
by strongly ethical embedding in innovative murder games, and transferrence to the ethical system by Jesus forgiveness to the ethical system embedding of binary games in novanionic
Lecture from the Third Lavatory Assistant and a detailed response from a Dalek on the floor. Novanion, Adonion and Vulcannion physics as ethical and murder components of evolvable
and unevolvable physics in comparison with the inconsistent murder game (by the Reduction Theorem multiphysics is equivalent to binary physics which we already have). Since this
system is not novanion it cannot evolve, but a Jesus transfer game could murder it. This is possible, but when Allah is murdered, Satan becomes Allah and the system is in that sense
stable. On evolutionary oscillation the new game occurs as a game which retains global ethicality or the Grand Ethical Principle. However, if Allah has increased ethicality by selecting
a snail to increase local ethics, if Allah does not maximise ethicality, the global murder game can with a corresponding antigame which has more murder than Allah, lead to Total Darkness
via a Jesus transformation.
Fourth section. Tea and coffe break. Aleister (who is Jewish) has done a lot of work, and wants some toast. The Pope gets some butter out of the fridge. Aleister puts some bread in the
toaster. The Grand Mufti of Jerusalem asks him what he would like to drink. There is a Dalek standing by with a tray of tea and coffee. Would he like a large cuppa tea or a cuppa coffee?
Aleister (who is Jewish) begins to put butter on the toast, and about to eat it, it falls on the carpet. He asks 'When Jewish toast falls on the carpet, why does it always fall butter side down?'.
Fifth section. God Control Section, God-Knows-Where. Professorette Twirble-Twirrup on her laptop cannot get a connection and asks Professor Twerp for assistance. Professor Twerp
asks what the message on the laptop says. She reads out 'Laptop to God: You are not connected'.
Conclusion. Professor Twerp wearing wires with bobbles on top concludes 'We have come to a conlusion then. God asks the snail to decide for Him. It is up to the snail to decide for God'.
When Eternity Weeps
Then shall the Tears Drop from My Face
When Eternity Smiles
Then will my smiles Spread Amongst Humankind
Who are the Least and the Greatest Amongst Us.
Let Us Rise.
Professor Twerp Concludes the Conference and then remembers he has forgotten an important matter. Someone has left their dentures in Reception and various ways are discussed about
resolving the problem. Nobody knows anything about it, but someone offers to help, and comes back it appears someone is ill. An ambulance has been called. A Dalek goes out and reports
tha the person has severe breathing difficulties. Does anyone have medical knowledge? Bogdan Fart-Johnston-Smith says 'I do' and moves quickly out. Someone comes in and reports that
the person is dead. The ambulance crew will not confirm it, but that is definitely the case.
Sixth section. Bogdan Fart-Johnston-Smith in an elegant but small urinal in Blackburn. Bogdan Fart-Johnston-Smith is wearing wires with bobbles on the top. He has no lavatory paper but
he has some writing paper and a pen. He knows from his attendance at the International Lavatory Attendant Conference that a Lavatory Attendant will arrive later, and in the meantime he
can sit down and look at the third Impossibility Problem. The Lavatory Attendant is late, and so he continues until she arrives. Because she is late, he solves the problem. Knocking on the
door which is Engaged, she tells him that she has just been to hospital to enquire about the person which we thought was dead, but had survived, she had spent a considerable amount of
time with her, she was on the mend, and if it were not for him, she would not have survived at all. Bogdan reveals his immense pleasure at the survival of the patient, saying
God I am with you Now
This Jewel of Paradise
I am With You Now
and reminds himself that he has solved the Impossibility Problem, and that this would not have happened had he not helped the patient, and therefore had to wait along time to get the toilet
paper from her. He takes the toilet roll and says in pleasure 'I need to sit on the toilet'. Having realised his accomplishment in the patients survival, and completed the solution of the greatest
Impossibility Problem as the Attendant leaves to closing music, I am not sure which one it is, it might be Mozart's 23rd which comes to a very nice build up of a climax which is totally
integrated with the music and was a great favourite when I was a student. I am very happy to introduce this lovely music in an unfamiliar and amusing context, so that even if they have
not heard the Mozart background before they will experience it. There are fartings which are developed in this piece as dramatic support. I think it will end in a fade.